From now on I will choose to “fail forward”. Because I am sick of failing and quitting, which is what I normally do! I get these grand ideas in my head – ok it’s Sunday – tomorrow starts my diet and I’m going to lose 25lbs in 3 weeks! By Friday my entire house will be cleaned and every piece of laundry washed and put away, and my 3 year old will be potty trained and will have mastered 3 different languages. I GOT this! It will just take a little will-power!!
Reality: It’s friday and I’m sitting on the couch eating a donut while I’m covered in cereal that’s been dumped on me looking at my living room covered in dirty clothes covered in dog hair being thrown around by 2 toddlers STILL in diapers and who haven’t been bathed in 4 days. Completely defeated. Feeling like the world’s biggest failure. I see moms rocking at life every day on Facebook – how is it possible that I’m THIS bad at it?
NO more of that! No more unrealistic goals and expectations for myself that just end up leaving me feeling like total crap! And when I do fail, no more worrying about it! So what? Life is crazy right now! Things will NEVER be perfect!! Tomorrow is always a new day! Monday always starts a new week!
I’m not trying to be falsely positive. I won’t always have that optimistic attitude – but the point is we need to give ourselves a little more grace. And start the next day with intentions of having a better attitude, a positive mindset and try again. Sometimes we are just physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted and we just need to have a bad day! Or sometimes we have a crazy week and end up dropping the ball in multiple areas. Instead of quitting, we need to accept that we had a bad week, and give ourselves small realistic goals of how we can do a little better next week.
In my last post I recommended the book THE ONE THING. I want to expand on what I talked about because it is such an important concept. Let’s get a little deeper into it. The idea is to figure out what the ONE thing is that you can accomplish that will make everything else easier. You might have different answers for this for different areas of your life. But when it comes to our home-life, think about either the one project you can accomplish or the one thing you can get up every morning and check off your list to make everything else easier.
These grand ideas and massive goals we set for ourselves to have perfect lives just add more stress when we don’t accomplish them. Having kids, especially young toddlers or babies, makes EVERYTHING so much harder. As a parent, not only do you have all of the responsibilities to keep up with, but you really need to have good mental health and a decent amount of rest in order to raise your kids in a positive and healthy environment. When we were young and single and free, we could pull all-nighters and get crap done
that needed it. We could wait until the last minute to finish a project, because we could dedicate focused time to it when we needed to. Now, we don’t have that luxury. It’s rare to get time where we can 100% focus on anything! Even now I am being interrupted by my chatty 3 year old every couple minutes as I write this. Let’s get to a point where we can accept this reality and move forward! Sometimes I feel judged – maybe it’s in my own head – but you know what? Not everyone gets it! People who don’t have kids often don’t get it! Some people whose kids are grown idealize the past in their memories and forget how hard it was! Some people actually had pretty easy/compliant/sleepy kids!! That’s not us!!
Which brings me to another point that I will expound on in another post – it is EXTREMELY important to connect with other moms with kids in similar stages as yours. There is no greater antidote to so much of motherhood stress than laughing about it with other mom friends who get it!!
So what is your ONE thing? I am tempted to choose many ONE things but that would defeat the purpose. I suggest to write a list of your ONE thing ideas and then analyze that list. So here’s my list:
Prepping a healthy breakfast daily
Prepping a healthy dinner daily
Working out regularly
Minimizing and Decluttering my Home
Eating a healthy breakfast will set me up for more energy the rest of the day to accomplish other tasks. Sometimes I don’t have energy in the morning to make a healthy breakfast so it would be helpful if I were to prep something the night before. Dinner is a huge one for me – if I don’t plan ahead, we almost always end up ordering takeout or pizza. Which means we order out like all the time – whoops! So much wasted money and unhealthy food. And the whole dinner thing is just a huge stressor for me. Then there’s working out – I believe that if I were to work out regularly I would feel more energized, more confident, and it’s a proven stress-reliever so all around a great thing to do to help me accomplish my other goals! And lastly, I believe that if I can get rid of my house’s clutter, have less stuff to maintain and clean, I will be more freed up to do other things during my day. Living in a clutter-free environment is so much less stressful.
So I have these 4 areas to choose from and it’s hard to choose! They are each extremely important but seriously you guys – choose ONE! We have to simplify! Master just one and then tackle another down the road. We are constantly being fed all these messages that if you do this one thing, your life will be changed. Eat clean and your life will be changed. Minimize and your life will be changed. Exercise every day and your life will be changed. But when your life is in total chaos and you know that you need to improve in ALL of those areas – it just gets too overwhelming to make changes! Start with just one. One simple goal that you know you can commit to accomplishing. Any progress is good progress. And when you’re making progress in your ONE THING category, you will be making progress towards making everything else in your life easier.
I would love to hear what your initial ONE THING list is? What are the things you would like to work at that you believe will make all other things easier? Comment with your list and when you’re ready, I’d love to hear which ONE you’ve chosen!