Not another “Just Do It” message!

From now on I will choose to “fail forward”. Because I am sick of failing and quitting, which is what I normally do! I get these grand ideas in my head – ok it’s Sunday – tomorrow starts my diet and I’m going to lose 25lbs in 3 weeks! By Friday my entire house will be cleaned and every piece of laundry washed and put away, and my 3 year old will be potty trained and will have mastered 3 different languages. I GOT this! It will just take a little will-power!!

(A/F LINK) Some days this is ALL I can handle!!

Reality: It’s friday and I’m sitting on the couch eating a donut while I’m covered in cereal that’s been dumped on me looking at my living room covered in dirty clothes covered in dog hair being thrown around by 2 toddlers STILL in diapers and who haven’t been bathed in 4 days. Completely defeated. Feeling like the world’s biggest failure. I see moms rocking at life every day on Facebook – how is it possible that I’m THIS bad at it?

NO more of that! No more unrealistic goals and expectations for myself that just end up leaving me feeling like total crap! And when I do fail, no more worrying about it! So what? Life is crazy right now! Things will NEVER be perfect!! Tomorrow is always a new day! Monday always starts a new week!

I’m not trying to be falsely positive. I won’t always have that optimistic attitude – but the point is we need to give ourselves a little more grace. And start the next day with intentions of having a better attitude, a positive mindset and try again. Sometimes we are just physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted and we just need to have a bad day! Or sometimes we have a crazy week and end up dropping the ball in multiple areas. Instead of quitting, we need to accept that we had a bad week, and give ourselves small realistic goals of how we can do a little better next week.

In my last post I recommended the book THE ONE THING. I want to expand on what I talked about because it is such an important concept. Let’s get a little deeper into it. The idea is to figure out what the ONE thing is that you can accomplish that will make everything else easier. You might have different answers for this for different areas of your life. But when it comes to our home-life, think about either the one project you can accomplish or the one thing you can get up every morning and check off your list to make everything else easier.

These grand ideas and massive goals we set for ourselves to have perfect lives just add more stress when we don’t accomplish them. Having kids, especially young toddlers or babies, makes EVERYTHING so much harder. As a parent, not only do you have all of the responsibilities to keep up with, but you really need to have good mental health and a decent amount of rest in order to raise your kids in a positive and healthy environment. When we were young and single and free, we could pull all-nighters and get crap done

race spilled the breadthat needed it. We could wait until the last minute to finish a project, because we could dedicate focused time to it when we needed to. Now, we don’t have that luxury. It’s rare to get time where we can 100% focus on anything! Even now I am being interrupted by my chatty 3 year old every couple minutes as I write this. Let’s get to a point where we can accept this reality and move forward! Sometimes I feel judged – maybe it’s in my own head – but you know what? Not everyone gets it! People who don’t have kids often don’t get it! Some people whose kids are grown idealize the past in their memories and forget how hard it was! Some people actually had pretty easy/compliant/sleepy kids!! That’s not us!!

 

Which brings me to another point that I will expound on in another post – it is EXTREMELY important to connect with other moms with kids in similar stages as yours. There is no greater antidote to so much of motherhood stress than laughing about it with other mom friends who get it!!

So what is your ONE thing? I am tempted to choose many ONE things but that would defeat the purpose. I suggest to write a list of your ONE thing ideas and then analyze that list. So here’s my list:

Prepping a healthy breakfast daily
Prepping a healthy dinner daily
Working out regularly
Minimizing and Decluttering my Home

Eating a healthy breakfast will set me up for more energy the rest of the day to accomplish other tasks. Sometimes I don’t have energy in the morning to make a healthy breakfast so it would be helpful if I were to prep something the night before. Dinner is a huge one for me – if I don’t plan ahead, we almost always end up ordering takeout or pizza. Which means we order out like all the time – whoops! So much wasted money and unhealthy food. And the whole dinner thing is just a huge stressor for me. Then there’s working out – I believe that if I were to work out regularly I would feel more energized, more confident, and it’s a proven stress-reliever so all around a great thing to do to help me accomplish my other goals! And lastly, I believe that if I can get rid of my house’s clutter, have less stuff to maintain and clean, I will be more freed up to do other things during my day. Living in a clutter-free environment is so much less stressful.

So I have these 4 areas to choose from and it’s hard to choose! They are each extremely important but seriously you guys – choose ONE! We have to simplify! Master just one and then tackle another down the road. We are constantly being fed all these messages that if you do this one thing, your life will be changed. Eat clean and your life will be changed. Minimize and your life will be changed. Exercise every day and your life will be changed. But when your life is in total chaos and you know that you need to improve in ALL of those areas – it just gets too overwhelming to make changes! Start with just one. One simple goal that you know you can commit to accomplishing. Any progress is good progress. And when you’re making progress in your ONE THING category, you will be making progress towards making everything else in your life easier.

I would love to hear what your initial ONE THING list is? What are the things you would like to work at that you believe will make all other things easier? Comment with your list and when you’re ready, I’d love to hear which ONE you’ve chosen!

I Want To Be Wonder Woman!

JL_Wonder_WomanWonder Woman. Strong, beats the crap out of bad guys, gorgeous, flawless, and when she says something dumb men think its cute. I bet she feeds her kids 3 organic meals a day full of vegetables and they EAT IT ALL! Yes, she is awesome and I want to BE her!

Seriously, though, the movie was amazing. Get a sitter TONIGHT and go see it!!

So I think i figured out my problem. I really truly wanted to be Wonder Woman! Like, the mom-version! I have been so stressed out for years because I had too many goals and I wasn’t going to be happy until I met all of them!! For example, I wanted:

  1. A rockin’ bod.
  2. To eat healthy to have more energy.
  3. To organize my house so it’s ALWAYS clean.
  4. To finally get ahold of our laundry situation.
  5. To spend lots of time daily doing educational activities with my kids.
  6. To bring in a second income for my family.
  7. To write more.
  8. To do more photography.
  9. To do more videography.

I could probably go on and HOLY COW just looking at my own list… NO WONDER I’ve been so stressed!!! For the past 3 years I’ve spent 90% of each day just keeping my children alive!!! How the heck have I expected to perfect all 9 of those things??!!! Dear LORD help me. I may be Greek and as close to a Greek-Goddess as I look,  I’ll be honest with you that I was NOT sent from Zeus up above and given special powers!  

Goals are good. They are motivating and working on ways to improve your life is a GOOD thing. We just have to be careful that, especially as parents, we’re not ADDING stress to our lives with the goals we set! That doesn’t work.

So what I’ve learned is that if there are areas in your life that you want to improve, you need to choose simple goals that will be the most effective. Most likely, there are areas in your life that if you improve them, it will make every other area of your life easier.

I got this concept from the book The One Thing. I HIGHLY recommend reading this, if you have time to read. If not, try downloading the audiobook!! (links down below) The main point is to help you identify ONE thing you can do that will make everything else easier. It’s a business book but when I listened to the audiobook, I was not working and I’m telling you, it applies to EVERYONE. Let me give you an example from my life!

I know a lot of parents will relate to this – TOYS TOYS TOYS EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. What a pain. Our kids have so many toys and it seems their favorite thing to do is throw them all over the house and then start whining that they’re bored!! So finally I had enough! I took their toys and put them all away in a bin! I left just a few out so no matter what, the mess could be picked up in under a minute! That was a couple weeks ago and I can’t even tell you the amount of stress that has since dissipated since my living room is almost always clean now!! An unintended consequence of this is that all of the sudden I have found space to do my workouts! And because I’m not drowning in messiness, I feel like my mind is clear enough that I can take some time out of the day and actually do it!! It’s crazy. This one small act of simplifying has truly made such a difference and even made one of my other goals easier!! It’s a domino effect. Working out gives me confidence, and more energy, which helps me tackle my other goals as well.

I am telling you this is huge. Take a few minutes to think about what that one thing is for you! Set one small goal for yourself but make sure it’s one that will free you up and make setting more goals easier! I would love it if you left a comment (click “Leave a Comment” up above) and tell me what your One Thing is!

And if you’re interested in reading this book, check it out here:

THE ONE THING

Not Another Perfect Mom Blog

Ever try to explain what being a mom is like to someone who just doesn’t get it? Try this: Tell them being a mom is like having a creature about a quarter of the size of a regular human stepping in front of your feet every time you try to move – All. Day. Long. Because THAT’S LITERALLY HOW IT IS. It’s maddening! It’s also the most wonderful and amazing thing in the world. It doesn’t make any sense. But there you have it. That’s momlife.

 

Let me just make this one thing VERY clear. This is NOT another blog about a perfect mom who is going to teach you how to do your makeup while meal prepping three groumet meals a day for the week plus organic snacks while getting your 90 pushups, situps and squats in as you teach your perfect 3 year old how to do long division and fold laundry, all WITHOUT any screentime!! No. That’s just a bunch of crap. I mean, for realsies though if you can do that I love you and I wanna be you and I hate you.

 

No I am not perfect. Not in any way, shape or form. But I am learning little hacks here funny pic of elena and raceand there that are really making a difference in my day and I know I’m not the only one who’s TOTALLY stressing out with life stuff! Having young kids just makes EVERY. SINGLE. THING. harder. So much harder. So stick with me for tips on how to deal with your extreme picky eater, how to handle the insane amount of laundry, how to not murder your spouse when they walk in the door, and just how to enjoy life instead of live every second of it in stress! 

 

Currently, one of my major struggles is my messy home. It’s ridiculous. I can maybe get one room under control, but then the rest of the house just starts to vomit random products and crap I didn’t even know we had all over the floors and furniture and I just want to curl up in a closet and cry but who has time for that, my kids are STARVING and poopy and bored!!

 

So I am challenging myself to minimize! At least a little. I’m not at this point trying to become an all-out minimalist but I just love the concept. Less stuff, less maintenance, less stress, more time. So I will keep you updated on my progress! I will say this, though, I started awhile back in my kitchen and just the little bit of purging I did has already made a MASSIVE difference in my stress level whenever I’m in there.

 

What are areas of motherhood that are the most challenging to you? Please let me know in the comments below! I would looove to hear from you, learn from you and laugh with you about this crazy stage of life!!